The Strength to Grieve: The Story Behind Sad Dads Club

There’s an expectation placed on men that they should keep it together, stay composed, and move on without faltering. But when a child dies, normal no longer applies. There’s no quiet fix for this kind of pain. And keeping it in only makes it louder. So, where can men go to grieve with no judgment and feel supported without having to explain? For most, that place doesn’t exist.

That’s what led Chris and two other fathers to co-found Sad Dads Club. Their community is for dads navigating life after losing a child. They believe that grief doesn’t follow a linear path, and no one should have to perform just to get through it. Whether it’s grabbing a beer, joining a Zoom call, or walking side by side on a hike, their time together isn’t about fixing the pain. It’s about making sure you’re not sitting in it alone.

“The first time I met them, and it was the first time I felt I didn’t need to overexplain the situation. They just understood the heartbreak and the road ahead.”

Sad Dads Club isn’t just about grief, it’s about what begins when you stop pretending you’re okay.

Two attendees at the Sad Dads Club retreat in Raymond, Maine. Photo by Christopher Capozziello.

Grief Had Somewhere to Go

“There wasn’t an exact moment we realized there weren’t many places for grieving dads,” Chris shares. “The three of us leaned on each other a lot to get through the hard times.”

Over time, it became clear that what helped them could help others. “When we started to do research as to what services existed, it became very clear that other people had tried in various capacities, but consistency was the issue. One dad would try to form a group, post frequently for a short time, and then stop suddenly.”

“There just wasn’t a space truly dedicated to them.”

What Didn’t Need Explaining

“I distinctly remember my first time meeting them, and it was the first time I felt I didn’t need to overexplain the situation. They just understood the heartbreak and the road ahead.”

Jay and Elly lost Bella in 2016. Rob and Tehila lost Lila in 2017. Chris and Sarah lost Izzy in 2018. Their connection was formed from a shared experience that didn’t need translation.

“This helped us. Why wouldn’t it help other dads who might feel alone?”

What began as a private bond between three grieving fathers has become something more. The gatherings and community that they have formed is not about finding the right words or rushing to heal.

What Men Are Taught

Men are rarely encouraged to talk about their feelings, and even less often given the tools or resources for mental health support. In moments of deep loss, especially around fertility or infant loss, that conditioning offers little space for grief. The pressure to hold it together for others, particularly for a partner recovering physically and emotionally, can make it easy to suppress one's own pain, sometimes for months or even years.

Chris reflects on the early days of “holding it together” for a partner and not allowing himself to grieve. “This is what the three of us, the founders of Sad Dads Club, did in the early days of our losses. I don’t regret doing that for a moment; all of our spouses had just given birth and were recovering from a major medical procedure. Focusing on Sarah masked many of my own emotions, and that continued until Annie (our rainbow baby) was born.”

“Delayed grief has proven to be very relatable to the dads who show up and share their story. It comes from both a place of love for your spouse, but also historical societal norms that say men are supposed to bottle up their emotions and show strength. We're not really taught how to talk about what we're feeling, and there often aren’t clear resources to help us figure it out.”

“Thankfully, I feel these societal norms have started to be questioned.”

Cofounders of the Sad Dads Club, from left, Christopher Piasecki, Rob Reider and Jay Taney, gather at the twice annual retreat. Photo by Christopher Capozziello.

It Doesn’t Mean There’s No Laughter

Even in the hardest moments, there can be connection and, yes, levity. Sometimes a shared laugh can break through isolation. It can reconnect us to others, ourselves, and the idea that joy can still exist.

Chris has seen how healing begins when someone says, “Same.”

“I have seen dads begin the slow process of rebuilding their life within the confines of a safe and supportive environment.”

Sad Dads Club has a 24/7 Discord network where dads talk about everything from milestones and holidays to books and fantasy football. It’s serious, but not always. Some moments feel lighter.

“One Thursday night, while Rob and I were waiting to start an open hour, we found ourselves laughing and telling jokes. Given the gravity and tone of the waiting room, we took it upon ourselves to apologize and tell the room we understood the seriousness of what we were there to do. That is when Matt, Lily’s dad, spoke up. He said, “Keep laughing, I came here to see a future version of myself.”

In the Company of Grief

What started as a space to simply not feel alone has grown into perhaps quiet, life-saving support. The experiences that stand out haven’t always been loud or dramatic.

“There are many amazing moments we have shared, but three jump out the most.”

“At our first in-person retreat, we didn’t know how online would translate into the real world, which always carries risk. Within 10 minutes of arriving, everyone was talking like lifelong friends.”

“I will never forget the first time someone told us that ‘Sad Dads Club saved my life.’”

“We have partnered with great therapists throughout the country who specialize in child loss. The dad never receives a bill, and we are extremely proud of that.”

“We are actively fundraising to expand this program. Donating to Sad Dads helps grow this program, and one day we hope to be able to offer it to any dad that reaches out for help.”

Why This Exists

Grief is messy, and often it doesn’t make sense. But it becomes a little more manageable when someone's sitting beside you. Sad Dads Club isn’t here to provide answers; it’s here so no dad has to carry this kind of pain by himself.

“If you or someone you love has experienced the loss of a child, know this: there’s no 'right' way to grieve. But, you don’t have to do it alone.”

This isn’t about getting over it; this is about getting through it with a community. Read more about Sad Dad's Club and its gatherings.

About Izzy Lee’s

Founded by Sarah and her sister, Christine, Izzy Lee’s is a baby clothing company rooted in the belief that, like a rainbow, the journey to parenthood is often a spectrum of emotions—sorrow, hope, and beauty. By sharing our stories, we help to heal ourselves and others.

Izzy Lee’s draws inspiration from its home in Maine. The majestic white pines and resilient coastal communities woven along the rocky coast and inland make this state beautiful.